OH WHAT A YEAR

Good Morning, Do come in, pull up a chair....This will be some what of a long post for me...One I have not been sure that I wanted to do....BUT...as I reflect I know many times in my life the experience of others has helped me more than you can imagine...So I am going to share what has been some year for me....The good and the not so good.... I started this blog after many months of stalking other blogs.... I needed an outlet... a happy place...I did not want to bring some of this stuff to my blog...but lots of days ...the things going on in my life would effect how I handle my blog....So part of me says share...You have had a new wonderful experience here in blog land...Met some really great people....I have been inspired...Learned a few new things...And when I am visiting you all it takes me to a happy place....BUT...Then can you share to much? Put it out there for who knows to read.... I like my blog...I like the people that come over for a visit...you get to know them...I can see pictures and know who house that the picture was taken at...BOY are we getting to know each other......

This picture was taken before I started my blog...Me, two of my daughters and a granddaughter...At babycakes baby shower...Oh the wonderful things to come.... August 2008

Fast forward: Oct.2008 the big day is here...Oh what a beautiful baby...I got to be at the birth , to see this little one come into the world...I cried tears of joy...thank you God for this day....She is all that I could of ask for , beautiful, healthy, planned and wanted...This picture is taken on my 50th birthday... Oct. 2008... I made it, 50 and a brand new grand baby....Things are so good... BUT....I have made an DR's appointment.... If you knew me well you might could read it on my face...I can see it in my eyes....My smile is hard to force, on a day that has brought me more joy than I can put into words...I have not said a word to anyone...we have been here before...WAITING TO SEE THE DR. All I want is HAPPY on this day... The news that, I think I need to see a DR. can wait...As I sit and hold her, what I am thinking is, Thank you God for this day ... Will I get to see her grow,will I sit at her wedding, will I see her children, Will you let me watch her grow into the wonderful young woman that I know she will become? PLEASE

Nov.2008, Friday night...My 26 year old daughter planned my 50th Birthday Party....It had to be delayed because of the new baby coming into our family.... The party was perfect...Such a surprise...34 family and friends showed up...We met and had dinner at Outback....I was so surprised.....I am hiding it well... we have not told the children yet...My husband knows...I had to have someone to take me the hospital on Monday... We have to tell them tomorrow but tonight...I love my life...I am loved...

Birthday dinner...Me and my girls... I thinking again ....Can you see it on my face? Tomorrow all things change.... I have to tell them...It can't wait any longer...

Dec.12...What a special night...My sweet babies 21 Birthday... 15 of us went out to eat...Her sweet sisters rented a limo so they could party the rest of the night and not drive... and because a limo on your 21 B-day is so much Fun... SO Why did I let them talk me into it...I should of said no...You see...It did not dawn on me until now as I sit and get this post ready...That I said YES I will start chemo today of all days.... I am smiling...but oh I feel so bad...You can read it on my husbands face...I could of and should of told them NO lets wait til Monday...I do not want my daughter to remember her birthday like this...

Christmas Day....I now am feeling so bad that it is hard to sit up...see the white bandage on my arm...under that is my Pick line....That's where they pump all that poison in... But look I do have to get past this I have 2 new wonderful little people in my life that I want to get to know...My sweet babycakes on the left,,,and my brothers new sweet baby girl on the right...

Yes I will fight hard...I have to...

Oh ...I tell you I have the most wonderful children...Whats in the bag you ask?...That is what I ask the night they all ran into my room laughing so hard they could hardly stand up...

Oh my sweet girls...They have been coming to the hospital now for a week and a half....But I have not seen my baby in so long and they thought that it would perk me up to have a visit from Miss Lucy....

Have I told you that I feel so loved..I truly am blessed...I have the most wonderful people in my life...And they were right I needed to see all of my family... I was in the hospital for awhile...I am smiling here and feeling no pain...After I had been home for awhile... my husband told me that he just knew that I was so sick and he did not think that I was coming back home...One of my Dr's told me that if I had been just a little older that I would NOT HAVE MADE IT...

My sweet sweet sweet daughter...can you tell how tired she is...Brand new baby...Her husband started a new job that sent him out of town for four months for training...and after she works all day she comes to the hospital to help me with my bath because my girls do not want the nurses to do it...stays with me till they give me my last med's for the night... and then goes homes about 9:00 pm just to have to get up the next morning and do it all over again....I know I am LOVED...

Look I am home ....getting better...Still not sure if I am cancer free...that will come later...We get a phone call it's my husband's sister she and my brother- in-law...my husbands brother... are coming to town just for the night....to go out for family dinner....now my husbands brother had to travel 61/2 hours to get here, just to go out to dinner...My family ...they are not saying it out loud...but I know they are still worried that I am not going to make....You see this is not my first ride on this Marry-go-round...

I love my Family...

It's now 5 months later...the cancer cells are GONE... I am loving my life...The Dr's consider you a success story if you make it to 8 month's and the cancer does not start to grow again....You see I had rectal cancer THIS TIME...Pretty rare...But oh so treatable...If FOUND in time...

The sun is warm...I am feeling no pain...thanks to med's...My family is around...I am grateful...

Babycakes one year Birthday....I shared it with you all...BUT...Now you see what I have not shared... I did share with just a few what was going on... I am feeling so much better...AND I AM CANCER FREE one more time... You may ask why am I sharing this now ..with you all... Well there is one more thing I need to tell you...Because of the radiation..I have fallen 6 times this year...2 times required a trip to the hospital...This past year I have been on very heavy pain med's dew to the falls... Some days the pain was so bad I could not get out of bed...Other days I would get up and could do a few things like blog ...One thing that has been a real source of joy for me this past few months... I started my blog at a time this year when I was feeling pretty good...Since I started this blog...I have had to many Dr's app's to keep track of... 4 Surgeries, an MRI... And a trip to the hospital for one of my falls and a whole lot of pain meds...I am telling you this so you will understand... that sometimes I am slow to respond when you give me an award...or ...a way over due Pay-it-forward...Or I will have enough energy to post... but then have a hard time getting around to leave comments on all of your sweet blogs...I need you all to know that you all have made this past year a little nicer for me...I am a doer..it's hard for me to sit...I ran 5k's... I did agility with my little girl Miss Lucy...I do not just sit at home very well...But all of your sweet blogs made me fell like I was getting out of my small world ... If Just for a little... while... So now with all that said..Oh and I will tell you I have what my nurses tell me they call chemo head...So my brain... with all that has been pumped into my poor little body this year... just does not work ... so yes I know you may have to read some post a few times and then you may still say HUH...

This was taken a few weeks ago...I am doing so much better... I am off all pain meds... and trying to get caught up with you all...I would like to link this to all the places that I like to go to play ...And I do hope all my friends in blog land see this and will understand why I some times am so slow to get done what needs to be done....